God Thankyou For Being Fed up

Well hello again out there in cyberland,


I have finally reached my limit. Of what you ask, EVERYTHING, LOL. I mean really, but I honestly and truthfully thank God for it all. In 30 years I have had quite the life. Ups downs and all arounds but God has remained faithful, though I always have not. I am tired of that life. I enjoyed the beginning, reveled in the middle(smile), and oh did i suffer at the end; but I must say that it was grand. As I approach my celebration of a new year on this earth I am also reflecting on the end of another. Another year as well as another era of my life is gone. I can say that I got out of it as much as I , myself, could. In doing that I get excited about whats coming. I am looking forward to 31 as well as LIFE. Life with God, life with my children and life with myself. Beyond that is more then my mind can handle and I am ever so glad that I know he is there. I am even more ecstatic to know that I am ready and striving now to do more for him. I want God to be happy with me. By this I mean I want to be the man that my God has been grooming me to be my whole life, and quite especially these last few years. I know who i am and I know who I want to be, and I am definitely tired of feeling and hearing that I am not going to live the life I seem to think I should have. Hey, it may sound odd to you but its how I feel (smile), we can talk about why in later entries. All I can say is I can see Gods hand and work in my life.
I am doing things now that I never thought possible because I never thought about it at all. I am used to living a certain kind of way, because of the way that I was brought up. There was a certain mindset that I adopted early in life and hold to this day. I don't want to be like everyone else because most people aren't who they claim to be. I knew who I was early in life and it has always brought great things. I just didn't know who i wanted to be. Life goes on as long as it does and no one knows when their last breath is coming, so why not enjoy every day given. Why not surround yourself with people you can do this with. Well this is a question that plagued me for a good number of years in my life and it caused a whole lot of shinanigry. Some good, some not so much but never the less I lived through it and I am here. The thing I realized is that I didn't know who i was any more, and so I endeavored to find out. To really get do the core of why my life wasn't the way I wanted it to be, which in my mind was just to enjoy everyday I get. However I wasn't taking in to account everything that could in tell in one mans life. Seeing as how that man was me I was compelled to figure it out. I am at the point of being fed up of not trusting in God as much as I should. Of not trusting in myself as much as I should, but I needed this fire lit to push me that extra mile. I have often heard stories about your thirties but amount of change your mind does in relevance to your personal world is astounding. At least to me it has been. My 20's was interesting but my 30's are gearing up to be something all together different. I am over not living up to gift of being a child of God, and a man who knows his own mind. How does anyone out there feel about what I am saying? Can you comment?

Contract Renegotiations

What is going on Readers, ya boy Skel here,


Your boy is looking forward to new things in what seems to be a new life. Last year marked the end of an era and now the ground has been broken on the rest of my life. Living with God is truly and adventure, and one I am quite grateful to be a part of. I have been Royalty and a pauper and I must say Royalty is my more suitable state. The enemy tried to take me out y'all, just go back and read old entries and you will have some idea of how. Thanks be to GOD that the how is not all that important in the grand scheme of things though. What was important that I learned how to live with and trust in GOD. That song says it all " Falling in love with Jesus was the best thing I have ever ever done". God was just a conversational acquaintance for a good portion of my life. I believed in "a power", but never took the time to experience His power and mercy. So now after going through what was literally a fight for my life ( Glad my God is a God of promise. And he keeps them) I am ready to continue with this new and most fascinating building era. Soul saved, heart for him, and mind about is word I wake up every day amazed and grateful I am still here. In awe that with all that has going on I have only experienced the tip of the iceberg. There is so much on the horizon and I am lining myself up with his mercy and instruction. The only thing that got me through those early years of my honest walk with Jesus the only thing that got me through was the belief he would make a difference in my life and circumstance, he boy did he deliver. Going from being virtually homeless to having a guarantee that rent and lights would be paid in such a short time is nothing short of a miracle.
Now I have been deep in thought and talks with God about what I expect for and from GOD in this new phase of my life. Who knew that there was soo much love and joy just one level below the pain and disappointment I harbored towards my self for so long. Well I know who did, GOD and he showed me too. There is more expected of me from my self this go round. And God shows me new interests and hones old gifts and talents on a daily basis. Some that I had honestly forgot I could even do. But am working as a whole unit for the first time in life. I am a whole person content in himself striving to be better in GOD. Do what you do GOD and show me how to live more abundantly in you. Get me right GOD so I can truly represent you in this life.

It Begins at the Begining

Hello out there in Cyberland, its ya boy Skel here.



I have been gone for a minute now and quite a lot has changed. My struggles with our great countries Armed Forces has finally bared the desired fruit and I have reached new heights in my personal life as well. All this must be and and can only be attributed to GOD and his good graces. Since I have last made an entry I have moved to a different city, gained and sustained suitable employment, just recently moved in to my own apt. No one can ever tell me that GOD isn't real. It has been a long and hard road to get to this point and I am grateful that I am finally on this side. There were times when I didn't think I was gonna make it, w in fact my eyes welled up with tears on January 1 of this year because I honestly didn't think I would live to see that day. Yet I did, and GOD followed it up with more days filled with bigger and better breakthroughs and delivered promises.

I have only been here since the end of January but in those few short months soooooo much in my life is just completely different. My other entries have been about obtaining and going after things, keeping your faith and knowing where your help really comes from. For me its GOD, who then enables me to draw strength from with in myself. Its kind of funny when you realize that the things that you have been working and striving for could actually work out the way you planned. Get a lil tickled when I think about it. I have talked about on here and in my everyday about me coming in to my own and being the man God has been pruning and grooming to be, and here I stand ready to make my mark in this world as a person who is saved and has an ever evolving and strengthening bond with God. All the thoughts and ideas I have had swirling in my head are falling in to place or taking an actual shape of a plan. Something and I can work on an work with to moved beyond my now.

I entitled this post "It Begins at the Beginning" because that's where I am at in my life, no longer bewildered at any crossroads. I have learned my lessons and now its time to move on with my life. Sounds prolific but what does it really mean? I have contemplated this for I don't know how many days and hours. ( SMILE ) I have finally concluded that I needed to survey where I was in life and what I was left with on this side of the storm. I have accepted my quirks and idiosyncrasies and embraced them bound and determined to allow the Lord to use them to make way for me. Next I thought it best for me to really think about this lil tid bit of information, "What exactly is it you wanna do?" That one had me stumped, I have it to admit, but I have a direction now with many possibilities and opportunities in sight. I know who I am and who I am striving to be and a lil bit about how I am going to go about getting there. And I mean everything, from family to friends, lovers, career. From here on out I want people to know me as the same kind of person. A hard working, fun loving, ambitious man that does what he says he is going to do, big dreams and all. So here is life's beautiful lil smile at me, how do you navigate through a beginning and an end simultaneously? It begins at the beginning.

Who were you when this journey began? What mistakes and/missteps did you take, and are you sure that you wouldn't make the same slips again? I am walking through the open door God has put before me and I am not looking back but I will never ever forget where MY GOD brought me from.

This ya boy signing off saying go love on somebody a lil goes a long way. Love Peace and lollipops and by God be with you until you return to him.