Well Readers its ya boy Skel,
God is too good to me. I had another soap opera or reality show moment yesterday. Over all I have to give GOD the glory, it could have been worse, but it was a very hard and emotional thing to endure. The authorities were at Mission Control, that's my humble abode, I name everything. LOL Anyway yet again Vera was here and this time it was specifically for me and they brought the EMT. I know exactly how it happened just can't believe it happened to me. But again I say I give God the glory. Though yesterday was hard and I acted in ways that are not conducive at all to what I am trying to accomplish, I could hear his voice the whole day. I am finding that making an outward change in ones life is only slightly less difficult then making one an inward one, if there is any difference at all. I have had to bore deep down in to my self to deal with all the demons, detriments,and bad memories in order to move forward with my life, but God walked me through and right on out of that trap. It took some years but it finally became personal and now we have this forward motion down to a science. I am consistently and constantly moving forward in life, open t o, aware of, and seeking things that will aid in my endeavors. As well as obtaining access to outlets of frustration and discord, though I have been having a feeling that I am stalled or stunted in some way as of late. This wasn't so bad at first. I had been working so hard and so long on so many aspects of my life, a break was welcomed and well received. Only now I am ready to get back to work, and find myself with out the foggiest idea of what to do.
Now that I have gotten to the root of all my bad decisions and misdoings, now that I have learned where my worth lies, and where my power resides how do I overcome. I have done too much evolving and growing for me to do things the way I used to and feel comfortable, so show me how to be this new and revolutionary person. I ask what it is you want me to do Lord? How do I get from this place, which is not all together bad or good, just where I am. Help me to live in your glory and your word, putting what you have taught me in to action. Please please don't let my yesterday dictate my tomorrow. My limitations have spawned dreams and ideas that are significantly and distinctly my own and can only be acheived through you.
This journey, that perfect storm began with my floor was ripped from under me and the world came crashing down on my head. BUT GOD. You covered me through the fall and held me close through the climb, and I am eternally grateful. You were my eyes on the journey to the depths of my soul and the strength that brought me back. I willingly and humbly give these issues to you so that you can bless them and I can share your power and glory. I have been taught how to be humble, and shown how to love, and I want to share that joy with the world.
I leave you with these words: The hardest thing I have ever had to do was look at myself and when I didn't find him I had to seek the Lord. I have a ways to go yet but if he doesn't do anything else hes already done enough. I am here living another day.
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