Natures Rise

Good Evening Readers. Skel here,

I know I am a bit late today, not like anyone follows like that, LOL, but hey it's fun to pretend just the same. (SMILE) Anyhoo, today was fit for an episode of somebodies daytime drama. Some heated words, two police officers, legal actions, I mean if i wasn't there I wouldn't have believed it. I was oh so blown. Not in my very own place of supposed peace and rest. I won't go in to detail, that will take away from what I am really trying to say. Though I am sure some of the ideas that are coming to your mind were true LOL. Just no lights flashing LOL. Its good to know GOD is here, ah but I digress. Anyhoo all of this went on before 11 AM. See I told you DAY TIME DRAMA. Although I did end up with a bigger room, and a place I feel I can finally call home. So maybe a dramatic comedy LOL. Nice pleasant ending to the suffering. Tell me GOD ain't real, I say ya LYING LOL. LOL I say that today because there was physical battle that was most definitely brewing and me of all people was evolved. Can you imagine cute innocent lil me about to wreck shop LOL, but it was gonna happen. God does have a way of changing things, and no matter what someone does to you it would behoove you to pray for there salvation instead plotting revenge. When you are at a certain place with him won't feel right until you do.
After that wonderful morning (rolls eyes sarcastically) LOL laughter filled the house and smiles were in every room. I feel now that I can get down to business. I have been preparing and praying and searching and here I am back home in Savannah, GA. Right where I wanted to start empire. LOL Yes Yes Skel has big dreams. This writing is just the tip of the iceberg and it gets better. Just stay tuned...... wait and see.
God plucked me from despair, and has planted me in a blessed and pure place. I can feel the purifying blessings radiating from me calling out to all the wonders and missions that God has prepared for me in this world. Senses are heightened, eyes and ears are open and cleansed, when mouths should remain contently closed. My praying and pressing is finally going to get to meet and embrace the works GOD has been preparing for me while I was on my journey to this point. So I continue to stand firmly planted, growing stronger and stronger everyday. Watching as the first buds of the fruits of my praise and my labor begin to take shape and form into what they are going to be. What great things do my coming days hold? I must say I don't know........ but it is oh so grand watching, feeling, experiencing, and expressing them forge my way. This is the way its supposed to be and this is the way it will remain. Blessed, simply put its in my nature, and from here it only gets better.

I leave you with these words: Always be aware of your progress or the lack there of if that be the case. That way you know where you are in relevance to where you are going.

The Turn

GM Readers...........Skel here,

Well well well, lol, today has the potential for change. Not just the normal potential that everyday brings, but a shift in the makings of my life. That emotional plummet shook me to my very core. I have learned through time and experience to rely on GOD for strength and guidance, but the enemy will forever try to change your mind about the Lord. What most Christians can't understand is that God allows these snares and pitfalls to occur to teach us, use us, and evaluate where we stand with him. It was a natural reaction for me to say I refuse to be mad at GOD, it was nothing for me to say that my situation hasn't changed because of something that I have missed or am not doing. Yes it is natural now but I wasn't giving any credence to the meaning and the change. That plummet would have sent me in to a tail spin that would have taken a great deal of time to overcome. The last time I felt that way it turned in to a long and dark depression. And that was not too long ago, so thank you Lord not only for that change but for the ability to see it in myself. I am growing everyday. My mind is set to operate that way. I should not enter in to any day the same as i was the day before. I must say I like knowing that.
I have been having some strange feelings lately, like my self esteem and confidence have taken a hit and depleted a bit. I have faith in myself and GOD but I am realizing that I lack a certain amount of confidence in regards to certain things. I have more appreciation then confidence, which isn't all together a bad thing. I know all I have comes from God, but how do I expand on that? How do I actually get to that next step in my life? I have been waiting, hoping,and praying constantly, in other words training. Preparing myself to live a life with the Lord. My ideas about God have changed and some are out right new. I am somebody and not just because of what I have been through, it's simply who and what I was born to be. I am confident in saying there aren't many people in this world who haven't heard at least once in their lives that God has great things in store for them. Or that they could and can be great. What I don't know is how many people have taken that to heart and tried to find out what that all means. I do know that I want to be one of them.
I have been saying that I am tried of not being listened to and not being heard. I have touched so many peoples lives and have in turned had my life touched and changed simply by listening. So when I figured out that most of the things going were because of a lack of listening I had to take a closer look at who the culprit was. On my end I have noticed that I expect a lot from people around me, too much at some times. Well I can say that for both sides really. That's where the lack of listening and the lack of attention to detail comes in. If some one says that they can or can not do something and it is evident in their actions that this is true, then that's what you should expect and work with. Can't work with what you don't have that just breeds confusion and kaos. Even with that being said my main issue has been not listening to my self. I often wondered how the mere act of being in someones life for a brief period could make such a tremendous difference. One where they advance and grow, yet I feel like I am in the same predicament. The difference is they listened and took things to heart then acted accordingly. Whats the point in knowing you can make a difference if you don't make one in your own life? (Question to self) This can no longer go on. I know what my power is, where my power comes from, and I know that my spirit is strong and free. What I don't know is how to wield this power purposefully. Things just usually tend to happen because I am in the mix, but I want to be able to make things happen at will. I want to be able to make moves. A friend of mine back in the day had a slogan that I still love. He would say his name and that he specialized in results. I vow to be that kinda person from here on out, in my life and in this world. I have faith in and love for who I am, and I am gaining the confidence to do what I was put on this earth to do.
I had felt like I had lost hope these last couple of days and was just tired of pushing myself to believe in a difference. This was a lot for me because for soooooooooo long that was all I had to get me through the days, hours, and sometimes from minute to minute. Yet today I feel hip to Gods test and the enemy's trap. Thank your for my confidence builder LORD and a renewed love and respect for myself and you.
I leave you with these words: Things can change in an instant, so always keep in mind what you have gone through and where you want to do. Get these things deep in your spirit and psyche and you will always be where are supposed to be and go where you are supposed to go. Love Lots SMOOCHES.

Concepts For The Next Steps

Hello again what ever readers that I have. It's ya boy Skel.

Well the good news is that my emotional plummet is stabilizing. Not where I would like it to be of course, but it's is no longer losing altitude with each breath. I believe the over all cause of everything that I am going through now is that I am tired. I have mentioned a couple of times that there has been a long standing issue that I really thought would be at a close now. Just lonely and fed up lol. I had too many people in my life who were talkers and not doers. I am a doer, if there is something that I want or want to do I usually find a way to do it. So with that acknowledgment of myself I can't very well let this plummet stop me from reaching my goals now can I?
How many of you readers has had to literally start all over again? When everything you had and had worked for was suddenly gone and just time and space were left fill up your day. I mean in life not just a project. (LOL) I have to admit I never thought it would happen but I had lost my self and control of my life in other people and my situations. I refuse to do it anymore, and MOST DEFINITELY refuse to go back to the way life used to be. So here I stand at this crossroads contemplating. There are some people that I never got out of my system and there as been talks of a reunion, but as time goes on it seems to be more talking then doing. We have already discussed that lol. I want to start this new life and enjoy this new era, and to do that I need to be in control of my faculties and open and trusting of my close surroundings. I finally admitted to myself how disappointed I have been since my birthday and why. I am basically tired of not being listened to, which is why I have taken to venting my thoughts frustrations and idea through writing and on here. How people are in each others lives and can't notice characteristics and issues that stare them in the face is beyond me. I am figuring out that if I was to enter or reenter in to a relationship I have to be sure about myself and that person. What makes you sure you ask? Well I will tell you even if you didn't LOL. Its in the actions. Whether or not a person is doing the acts that you need them to and some things that you just want. The fact that they visibly try to accommodate or work with you can mean a lot and directly effect the longevity of the union. That's across the board from relationships to family, friends and business associates.
Its taken me a while to really put these thoughts and feelings in to play in my life instead of just thinking about how I think things should be. I have had to truly sit and reevaluate things in my life. AGAIN!!!!! I did say that I was starting from scratch. To get to this point I had to do things a certain way, but now that I am here things must change and evolve still. This ability to evolve with out changing who and what I am is one of the most important personality traits I posses. Though just like every other gift or talent there is a possibility for it to be lost or decreased due to the lack of use. So pray with me, pray for me, and hey if you got things going on that you would like to share hit me up at Phoenix_Rizzen@yahoo.com. This way I can comment or address them on the blog without putting any ones name or business on the world wide web. LOL Hit me up, lets talk and lets figure out this thing called life together as members of the human race. Become a maniac and rant with me........lol...........about the good times, the bad times and even those moments when there is no distinction between the two. Life is easier, better, and much more enjoyable when it is shared with good, positive, and motivated people.
I leave you with these words: Life is the greatest gift we will ever get, so cherish it because it can be over in an instant. LOVE YA SMOOCHES

Vent Session #1 Emotional Plummet/Spiritual Elevation

Hello Good People........ Skel here,


Well today has been a doozy I say. Can you say emotional plummet? I have just been down today, disappointment is a word that keeps coming up in all my writing outlets. I even wrote in my journal today that I refused to be angry with GOD. I can't deny my emotions but I can't deny my faith either. You would think that would be a recipe for an emotional roller coaster but nooooooooo that was a plummet. LOL I saw it going and did everything with in my power to stay positive and look at the bright side and all of those other good defense mechanisms to ill feelings. Thought I was doing okay and then I woke up this morning. It was like who are you and where did you put the normal me.
Your boy been going through a situation for a long time and frankly I am tired of it. I have asked everyone I know ( and some I really don't ) what I can do about it but always get the same answer. I don't know what to tell you. OOOOOOOOhhhhh helpful. I have developed an intensity that is great when its great but on the flip side it can be a beast to control. I have had to be a rock for a long time, well guess I can't say I had to just sort of step in to that role. Guess it's one of the many things that make up me. Now at thirty I am tired of being the one everyone looks to for answers, or ideas, or suggestions, when all of mine go unanswered and unheard. I am angry and resentful, but to no one in particular. More like a certain kind of person. I like people who do and say what they mean to do. Its not by happenstance, or some devious attempt to get some personal gain, but genuine and real. I am tired of having to adjust, rearrange, or postpone my life to fit in to someone else's schedule. Its not a pleasant way to live.
This brand new and great era was one where with my personal limitations I will still be able to support and maintain an enjoyable life. I am still working and pressing towards that but have to admit that by now I expected to see more advancement then I have. Of course I did what I always do, blame myself and try to figure out what I am lacking and why I have not reached my goal by the designated time. I am here and even though its not how I wanted it to be I do acknowledge being in a new place mentally, I just want to feel like I have advanced in the world as well. May be impatience or it could be that I need to revise my focus. Somethings have to change and they may as well start with me. Don't be vain out there, LOL it causes unnecessary stresses in life. LOL
But even with all of these things going on my faith in GOD remains in tact. Its the faith in myself that is being challenged at this moment. I say I am a soldier and a fighter, but that fight seems to be seeping from somewhere deep inside. Disappointment wants to suck away your expectations of good things in life. I have battled her before and she is a very worthy advisory,but if life hasn't taken me out then disappointment can't either. I am still breathing and I vow to press towards my goals and an over all better life for myself and my children. Thank you GOD for your ever present power and mercy.

I leave you with these words: Knowing that Jesus can fix any problem and believing that he will fix yours are two very different things. Where do you fall?

From Yesterday to Today

Whats going on Readers, its ya boy Skel here.


I can remember at 27 coming to the realization that life was ticking away and major ideas and goals I had weren't even close to being achieved. Life was as a stand still, relationships were crumbling all around me and I was sinking deeper into the abyss of depression. Then one day everything that I had been almost skillfully balancing just began to topple over. Major shifts occurred in my life that I had no control over. I tried to go with the flow at first, relying heavily on my newly rekindled love affair with the Lord. Operation "Get My Life Together" was conceived, nurtured, and born from this ordeal. As time marched on, as it will inevitably do, a finish line emerged. I had made up my mind to live for Jesus and clean out my life, getting rid of any residual feelings and people that were contrary to my conscience choice to make a change.
I searched for purpose. Purpose for my being alive and being the me that I couldn't help but be if I tried, which I did. I realized that a good amount of the circumstances and and issues from that moment to this was because I didn't know who i wanted to be and didn't like the person I was. That's when the hard part began. I had to look at myself objectively. The harsh realities of my behavior and actions could not be minimized just because they were my own, but had to be confronted and faced. In order to come to any sort of solution, acceptance, and/or closure. It was a long hard and lonely walk. At times the darkness all around seemed to be an extention of me, I didn't think I could, would, or even wanted to make it. Yet here I stand, 30, determined, self aware, and self motivated, and quite soon self sufficient. I don't want to worry about money, I don't want to worry about back stabbing or disguised friendship, and from this day forward I won't. There are people in my life that have their own special place in my heart and will for ever, but my priorities are no longer what anyone else's perception, opinion, or expectations of me. Phase 1 of operation "Get My Life Together" is complete. I have found value, respect, and love for myself. I know what I am capable of bringing to the world, now I am out here embracing and relishing what the Lord has for this world to offer me.
The only relationships I am now pressed about maintaining are that of myself, my children, and GOD. All other components and characters in my life story may come, may go, and some may even become a permanent staple, but this life I live is now and forever MY OWN.

Hope this glimpse in to my life was interesting to say the least but most of all I hope its helpful to someone. Its quite helpful to me even now and I lived through it LOL. I will leave you with these words.
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF KNOWLEGE IS THE KEY....... WIELDING THAT KNOWLEGE IS THE TRUE POWER.

Day of Reckoning

What is going on WORLD its Skel here,

My day of reckoning has arrived, those who know me know that i have been preparing for this day for a couple of years now. Adding things I believed I needed, and removing things I did not. Even had to give up somethings I thought were mine forever, but that's how it goes. The return was slow but beginning to bud and blossom all around me. I am who I have worked so hard to be, I am a messenger, I am a counselor, I am a Man of GOD, and I am human. Simple yet very complex. I am at a loss for words, which is really rare, LOL. I am just so happy to be alive and to be living, not just existing. I have a plan for my life now, not just an idea of how I want it to be. I know where I am going and I am bound and determined to get there. I put in thirty years to get to know my product, Me, Myself, and I. I am finally declaring it to the world I want to get paid for being myself. Sounds conceited, and pompous, maybe but that depends on how you look at it. You would have to know who I am and what I bring to those around me in my every day. I invite you to do so. I don't exactly know where this blog will lead, if it leads anywhere at all. But every entry is purely and entirely me. Meet me and I will be the same person.
Today I am enjoying the 30th anniversary of my birth, and it is the first time since I was 10 years old that I have enjoyed the significance of it. At ten I was amazed that I was a decade. That word just fascinated me to the hilt, I said it all day, " I am a decade". Yes I was an odd child, but that is not the point of that story at this particular time. LOL It meant something to me, for myself and in myself. Every year since then has been about the people that were around me, or the gifts I did or didn't get, or me feeling like your getting older time to start shaping up. Yet today I am taken back to that birthday 20 years ago today and share that same feeling of accomplishment. Being enjoined by the kid in me that refuses to grow up and the adult in me who has learned to keep his lil behind in line alike. God gave me a gift today that even yesterday I was having some difficulty believing I had or would receive. I am WHOLE. My mind, body, spirit, and soul are under my control and on the same path. A path designated by GOD, and revealed to me when I relinquished that control to my Lord and Savior in exchange for his power, love, mercy and guidence. That power is beginning to shine through me and soon all that I have ever wanted will be a reality. I know this because I don't want what I can't have, but I want everything else that is mine. I know what I want in my life and through GOD all things are possible. I thank him for this day, I can not express that or even how much enough. It means sooooooooooooo much to me that I am here and that I am whole. Stay tuned to the blog and I am sure the whys and hows will come out. I am here to stay and my name and that of my family will live on even after my body has turned to dust. This I know and this I believe. I hope everyone enjoys today, its a day of celebration and everyone should be blessed. LOVE LOTS TOOTLES

Phoenix_Rizzen ( THIS RISING )

Able to adapt and evolve without changing who and what I am. With each new birth I get stronger and with each evolution I am purged and prepared for the next, challenge, obstacle, trap, Joy, Pleasure, and Lesson. I've done it my whole existence with out knowing, but this rising has significance. It was my coming of age. No longer a defenseless thing, but a being who has and is acknowledging his mistakes and taking steps, praying, pressing, and growing. This rising has manifested as prophesied it would. I know who I am , I know who I was, and I know what I want to be. All this is presented to the world as an individual capable of great and grand things. With God in my heart and sight I can burn brighter, harder, and hotter and learning to control it with ease. I am a child of God on fire, ready and willing to stand and live in this world on what I believe. I am now ready to soar through the open sky with will of a servant, the heart of a soldier, and the eyes of the Master guiding the way. Living for now,not in the future or in the past, but the blessings of today.

Proceeding With Caution

Whats Good to any and all of my fellow Maniacs. Skel here,

How sweet it is when you achieve and/or obtain something sought and longed for. How will you behave when faced with victory, instead of what your mind has always looked at as defeat. When blessings just fall in your lap while the ones you believed in at the begining become closer to hold and clearer to see. Everything the glitters may not be gold but a light will always shine.
I have been experiencing a lot of growth and seeing the growth in the things around me. I can't say that that growth is me but the light that my Lord has placed in my spirit is very much contagious. I am finally realizing the worth I hold and what I can give to the world, but here is the kicker, the world is too. I am no longer just a handsome face or a body to hold a place, I am a force of nature able to work within the power of the all mighty. I have been to hell and back and have brought back a well known secret that is rarely ever seriously taken to heart. I look around me and all that hold is close to my heart but yet distant, in a way that strangely doesn't bother me at all. I guess this is what it means to stand as your own person and moving on from where you don't want to be.
In knowing who you and having a specific type of drive it is easy to allow things of lesser priority, but valuable just the same, go unattended. This doesn't have to be a bad thing at all, as some may see it to be. If there is love between yourself and a person, place, or thing it never goes away. A smell could bring back emotions and feelings you thought long gone; just make sure that all past emotions have been dealt with or are in the works.
I am ready to walk in to this future I can see forming around me and I am ready to rise. I am finally ready for not just anything but the good things to come in to my life. What are your thoughts about where you are in life?