The Turn

GM Readers...........Skel here,

Well well well, lol, today has the potential for change. Not just the normal potential that everyday brings, but a shift in the makings of my life. That emotional plummet shook me to my very core. I have learned through time and experience to rely on GOD for strength and guidance, but the enemy will forever try to change your mind about the Lord. What most Christians can't understand is that God allows these snares and pitfalls to occur to teach us, use us, and evaluate where we stand with him. It was a natural reaction for me to say I refuse to be mad at GOD, it was nothing for me to say that my situation hasn't changed because of something that I have missed or am not doing. Yes it is natural now but I wasn't giving any credence to the meaning and the change. That plummet would have sent me in to a tail spin that would have taken a great deal of time to overcome. The last time I felt that way it turned in to a long and dark depression. And that was not too long ago, so thank you Lord not only for that change but for the ability to see it in myself. I am growing everyday. My mind is set to operate that way. I should not enter in to any day the same as i was the day before. I must say I like knowing that.
I have been having some strange feelings lately, like my self esteem and confidence have taken a hit and depleted a bit. I have faith in myself and GOD but I am realizing that I lack a certain amount of confidence in regards to certain things. I have more appreciation then confidence, which isn't all together a bad thing. I know all I have comes from God, but how do I expand on that? How do I actually get to that next step in my life? I have been waiting, hoping,and praying constantly, in other words training. Preparing myself to live a life with the Lord. My ideas about God have changed and some are out right new. I am somebody and not just because of what I have been through, it's simply who and what I was born to be. I am confident in saying there aren't many people in this world who haven't heard at least once in their lives that God has great things in store for them. Or that they could and can be great. What I don't know is how many people have taken that to heart and tried to find out what that all means. I do know that I want to be one of them.
I have been saying that I am tried of not being listened to and not being heard. I have touched so many peoples lives and have in turned had my life touched and changed simply by listening. So when I figured out that most of the things going were because of a lack of listening I had to take a closer look at who the culprit was. On my end I have noticed that I expect a lot from people around me, too much at some times. Well I can say that for both sides really. That's where the lack of listening and the lack of attention to detail comes in. If some one says that they can or can not do something and it is evident in their actions that this is true, then that's what you should expect and work with. Can't work with what you don't have that just breeds confusion and kaos. Even with that being said my main issue has been not listening to my self. I often wondered how the mere act of being in someones life for a brief period could make such a tremendous difference. One where they advance and grow, yet I feel like I am in the same predicament. The difference is they listened and took things to heart then acted accordingly. Whats the point in knowing you can make a difference if you don't make one in your own life? (Question to self) This can no longer go on. I know what my power is, where my power comes from, and I know that my spirit is strong and free. What I don't know is how to wield this power purposefully. Things just usually tend to happen because I am in the mix, but I want to be able to make things happen at will. I want to be able to make moves. A friend of mine back in the day had a slogan that I still love. He would say his name and that he specialized in results. I vow to be that kinda person from here on out, in my life and in this world. I have faith in and love for who I am, and I am gaining the confidence to do what I was put on this earth to do.
I had felt like I had lost hope these last couple of days and was just tired of pushing myself to believe in a difference. This was a lot for me because for soooooooooo long that was all I had to get me through the days, hours, and sometimes from minute to minute. Yet today I feel hip to Gods test and the enemy's trap. Thank your for my confidence builder LORD and a renewed love and respect for myself and you.
I leave you with these words: Things can change in an instant, so always keep in mind what you have gone through and where you want to do. Get these things deep in your spirit and psyche and you will always be where are supposed to be and go where you are supposed to go. Love Lots SMOOCHES.