Whats going on readers, present and future. Skel here, back with new ideas and questions.
I have been riding high on my latest breakthroughs and the wonders of this new mind set and era of my life. I kinda caught up with myself, grew up, and made advancement all at once. So the three years of " Depression", "Storm", or "Journey" (depending on who you are or the context of the topic LOL) that I put in getting myself to a point where I felt comfortable in this world were not in vain. As with all things that happen to me in life, it was necessary for that time and for my future. I was brought closer to GOD, showed that I could make it through things I never imagined myself even having to experience, and taught me what kind of man I was. It was during this time in my life I started truly identifying myself as a man. Not because of my age, but the merit of my character and mind. Sure I was a little late by my own standards LOL, I should have been doing other things at 30. At least I had vague thoughts and plans that I would. I have gotten over that thought, that was the first thing to change. I have made so much progress and overcome so much in the last 10 years. I am truly and insanely grateful. I keep saying there were times when I really didn't think I would make it or if i wanted to live another day and that is honest and real. I really feel like God spared and saved my life on many occasions. There is a joy in my life that is a familiar comfort from my childhood, where everyday was a gift and enjoyed. Yet still I am not quite as happy as I want to be. I have a longing and perhaps even a need for companionship. I want to be able to share my life with someone. Not a sexual thing or romantic thing, doesn't even have to be one specific person, I just want access to someone who is my friend , who feels like family.
I really miss the idea of family. I miss the idea of belonging somewhere. I am unique, I march to the beat of my own drum. I get it, I have come to embrace it and even rely on it, but it does get lonely. I don't know how to fix this one because only GOD really can. This isn't new at all, as a child I had these feelings or a need to belong somewhere. Yet I never really did, I mean I wasn't a recluse or anything just always felt like an outsider or that I was not getting something that everyone else understood. I am having about a hard time explaining it as I am feeling it. (smile) I think I feel guilty for wanting more then God has provided for me at this time. I should be happy with what I have, especially looking back at what I am coming from, and I am. Its just that there is still a longing. I want to be around people that I enjoy, care about, learn from, and lean on. I want family and friends but I want it a certain kind of way. Is that bad? I want to have good people in my midst so when I encounter those who need Jesus I have more to say then just you need Jesus. I don't know I had gotten to a point when i thought I didn't' need people or want them for that matter. Just miss having real friends.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Which Way Is Up...........Always look to him.
Well Readers its ya boy Skel,
God is too good to me. I had another soap opera or reality show moment yesterday. Over all I have to give GOD the glory, it could have been worse, but it was a very hard and emotional thing to endure. The authorities were at Mission Control, that's my humble abode, I name everything. LOL Anyway yet again Vera was here and this time it was specifically for me and they brought the EMT. I know exactly how it happened just can't believe it happened to me. But again I say I give God the glory. Though yesterday was hard and I acted in ways that are not conducive at all to what I am trying to accomplish, I could hear his voice the whole day. I am finding that making an outward change in ones life is only slightly less difficult then making one an inward one, if there is any difference at all. I have had to bore deep down in to my self to deal with all the demons, detriments,and bad memories in order to move forward with my life, but God walked me through and right on out of that trap. It took some years but it finally became personal and now we have this forward motion down to a science. I am consistently and constantly moving forward in life, open t o, aware of, and seeking things that will aid in my endeavors. As well as obtaining access to outlets of frustration and discord, though I have been having a feeling that I am stalled or stunted in some way as of late. This wasn't so bad at first. I had been working so hard and so long on so many aspects of my life, a break was welcomed and well received. Only now I am ready to get back to work, and find myself with out the foggiest idea of what to do.
Now that I have gotten to the root of all my bad decisions and misdoings, now that I have learned where my worth lies, and where my power resides how do I overcome. I have done too much evolving and growing for me to do things the way I used to and feel comfortable, so show me how to be this new and revolutionary person. I ask what it is you want me to do Lord? How do I get from this place, which is not all together bad or good, just where I am. Help me to live in your glory and your word, putting what you have taught me in to action. Please please don't let my yesterday dictate my tomorrow. My limitations have spawned dreams and ideas that are significantly and distinctly my own and can only be acheived through you.
This journey, that perfect storm began with my floor was ripped from under me and the world came crashing down on my head. BUT GOD. You covered me through the fall and held me close through the climb, and I am eternally grateful. You were my eyes on the journey to the depths of my soul and the strength that brought me back. I willingly and humbly give these issues to you so that you can bless them and I can share your power and glory. I have been taught how to be humble, and shown how to love, and I want to share that joy with the world.
I leave you with these words: The hardest thing I have ever had to do was look at myself and when I didn't find him I had to seek the Lord. I have a ways to go yet but if he doesn't do anything else hes already done enough. I am here living another day.
God is too good to me. I had another soap opera or reality show moment yesterday. Over all I have to give GOD the glory, it could have been worse, but it was a very hard and emotional thing to endure. The authorities were at Mission Control, that's my humble abode, I name everything. LOL Anyway yet again Vera was here and this time it was specifically for me and they brought the EMT. I know exactly how it happened just can't believe it happened to me. But again I say I give God the glory. Though yesterday was hard and I acted in ways that are not conducive at all to what I am trying to accomplish, I could hear his voice the whole day. I am finding that making an outward change in ones life is only slightly less difficult then making one an inward one, if there is any difference at all. I have had to bore deep down in to my self to deal with all the demons, detriments,and bad memories in order to move forward with my life, but God walked me through and right on out of that trap. It took some years but it finally became personal and now we have this forward motion down to a science. I am consistently and constantly moving forward in life, open t o, aware of, and seeking things that will aid in my endeavors. As well as obtaining access to outlets of frustration and discord, though I have been having a feeling that I am stalled or stunted in some way as of late. This wasn't so bad at first. I had been working so hard and so long on so many aspects of my life, a break was welcomed and well received. Only now I am ready to get back to work, and find myself with out the foggiest idea of what to do.
Now that I have gotten to the root of all my bad decisions and misdoings, now that I have learned where my worth lies, and where my power resides how do I overcome. I have done too much evolving and growing for me to do things the way I used to and feel comfortable, so show me how to be this new and revolutionary person. I ask what it is you want me to do Lord? How do I get from this place, which is not all together bad or good, just where I am. Help me to live in your glory and your word, putting what you have taught me in to action. Please please don't let my yesterday dictate my tomorrow. My limitations have spawned dreams and ideas that are significantly and distinctly my own and can only be acheived through you.
This journey, that perfect storm began with my floor was ripped from under me and the world came crashing down on my head. BUT GOD. You covered me through the fall and held me close through the climb, and I am eternally grateful. You were my eyes on the journey to the depths of my soul and the strength that brought me back. I willingly and humbly give these issues to you so that you can bless them and I can share your power and glory. I have been taught how to be humble, and shown how to love, and I want to share that joy with the world.
I leave you with these words: The hardest thing I have ever had to do was look at myself and when I didn't find him I had to seek the Lord. I have a ways to go yet but if he doesn't do anything else hes already done enough. I am here living another day.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
HARVEST TIME
What's going on Good People? Ya boy Skel here...... back in action.
I haven't been Ranting as much as I would have liked in the last couple of weeks. God has really been taking me through some sessions. I honestly don't even know where to begin. There is just so much I want to say. From my eyes being opened wider to this world, God, and most important (for this particular time at least) MYSELF. I have always had ideas, and have never had much problems letting them be known. Yet when you look at it where am I? What am I doing with any of the information, education, talents, or gifts that I posses? The list can just go on and on. For a long time I felt bad for having these thoughts , or at the very least strange. I am the kind of fellow that marches to his own tune. The way I think and see the world is so simple yet apparently unique. Well I am determined to make that work for me in this life time and on this earth.
I have been writing about overcoming a long and difficult period in my life, and how God was key in pulling me out of it. I can really say now that I am over and through a major, necessary and very difficult change in my life. It is the most amazing feeling, one I have experienced before but very rarely. The first time I heard my daughter call me daddy. When I saw my ex wife's foot coming down the stairs on our wedding day. The day my son was born. Just to name some of the safe ones LOL. Like I know even, this moment, and this time is going to forever be etched in my memory. When GOD presented me with a precious and permanent gift in my life.
Only this time he gave me, ME. This whole ordeal has taught me what kind of person I am, what I am made of, and who I serve. From here on out there is no telling where my life will go only I know that it gets better. Because now I have a purpose and not just a goal or a plan. There is nothing wrong with any of those things but I am finding that all three must be present and working together for anything to be different; in my life at least. Until now I have had no other purpose then to take care of those around me that I love. There were two things wrong with that, however, that I am so glad GOD taught me. I have to be included in those loved ones and I have to have the means to take them. I have lived all of my conscious life half way, going form one side to the other but never really whole. For me to achieve the life I have always seen myself living I had to have, know, and love myself and GOD simultaneously. I have to believe in the vessel being used as well as trust that it will do what it was meant to. I am excited and prepared for all the pleasure and pain that is on the horizon because I am alive, I am Me, and My GOD is on my side. I am ready for the my harvest of promises, reciprocity's, and manifestations before me. Thank you GOD
I leave you with this: Get to know and love the person you are and see how much better your life gets, I dare you LOL.
I haven't been Ranting as much as I would have liked in the last couple of weeks. God has really been taking me through some sessions. I honestly don't even know where to begin. There is just so much I want to say. From my eyes being opened wider to this world, God, and most important (for this particular time at least) MYSELF. I have always had ideas, and have never had much problems letting them be known. Yet when you look at it where am I? What am I doing with any of the information, education, talents, or gifts that I posses? The list can just go on and on. For a long time I felt bad for having these thoughts , or at the very least strange. I am the kind of fellow that marches to his own tune. The way I think and see the world is so simple yet apparently unique. Well I am determined to make that work for me in this life time and on this earth.
I have been writing about overcoming a long and difficult period in my life, and how God was key in pulling me out of it. I can really say now that I am over and through a major, necessary and very difficult change in my life. It is the most amazing feeling, one I have experienced before but very rarely. The first time I heard my daughter call me daddy. When I saw my ex wife's foot coming down the stairs on our wedding day. The day my son was born. Just to name some of the safe ones LOL. Like I know even, this moment, and this time is going to forever be etched in my memory. When GOD presented me with a precious and permanent gift in my life.
Only this time he gave me, ME. This whole ordeal has taught me what kind of person I am, what I am made of, and who I serve. From here on out there is no telling where my life will go only I know that it gets better. Because now I have a purpose and not just a goal or a plan. There is nothing wrong with any of those things but I am finding that all three must be present and working together for anything to be different; in my life at least. Until now I have had no other purpose then to take care of those around me that I love. There were two things wrong with that, however, that I am so glad GOD taught me. I have to be included in those loved ones and I have to have the means to take them. I have lived all of my conscious life half way, going form one side to the other but never really whole. For me to achieve the life I have always seen myself living I had to have, know, and love myself and GOD simultaneously. I have to believe in the vessel being used as well as trust that it will do what it was meant to. I am excited and prepared for all the pleasure and pain that is on the horizon because I am alive, I am Me, and My GOD is on my side. I am ready for the my harvest of promises, reciprocity's, and manifestations before me. Thank you GOD
I leave you with this: Get to know and love the person you are and see how much better your life gets, I dare you LOL.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Seasons changed, Ideas arranged
Hello out there my blogspot readers, Skel here,
I haven't written anything in a while, and it hasn't been for lack of trying. I have a box full of drafts trying to put in to words how I felt and what i wanted to say. Yet none of them seemed to express or convey what I wanted. Everything just seemed to come to a halt, and I couldn't find any understanding in too many people or things around me. I even went back and reread some of the older entries, hoping that I would get some clarity or inspiration, and I did. It just wasn't enough to pull out anything in me to write. LOL Instead I was provoked in to deep thought, which in turn brought forth some serious prayers and conversations with the Lord. I asked what it was God was trying to show me. I had to know what it was that I was not getting? I believed that it had to be me, so I went deeper into my mind, deeper in to my heart, and deeper in to myself. This reeked with a semblence of depression but it was neccessary. I remember saying that I wanted something better or just wanted something to change, though it didn't really seem like that was occurring, and I still couldn't figure out why.
I seemed to be stuck surrounded by people and things who had no idea what I was talking about or trying to do, and had no intentions on finding out, because of what they felt was being or been done to them. My thoughts, feelings, and predicament was of no importance to them as long as they were fine and i was still breathing. It didn't matter that I was homeless, it didn't matter that I was alone, it didn't matter that I was hurting physically and emotionally, and as long as I had breath I should just shut up and be happy. I got this attitude so much so that I stopped expecting to have anyone in my corner or for me. But GOD. THANKYOU LORD. I can sit here and talk about GOD with as much love, passion and understanding that I do because I had no other choice but to trust him. It was either trust in him or die, literally, and I would have gone straight to hell. Real talk, not because I was a horrible person, (contrary to popular belief) but because my heart was not right. I was holding on to people and emotions that I thought I had dealt with. I felt worthless and that i wouldn't get any kind of REAL love from anyone other then GOD. All because my family and some so called friends had turned their backs on me. But through strangers and other unlikely sources GOD kept me here, even when I wanted to give up ( and I really did ) he kept me here. THANKYOU GOD. I thought that because some formerly important people from my past had reentered my life that i was being given a second chance to do some things right. Only just today it clicked finally, I don't want them back in my life. Especially if I have to fight or do extra to have them there. I have always been a person to warn and let it be known when things aren't right and are subject to going a certain kind of way. My actions from that point might not have been liked, but shouldn't have been unexpected.
I have been pining over fixing my old life instead of really embracing and embarking on something new. If you are not in my life the way you used to be there is a reason, and there is no need for me to sugar coat that any more. I have reached a new place with in myself. Not only am I done with the hell and the storm I had been in for years, but GOD has opened my eyes to certain people in this world. Nothing needs to be said, they know who they are or soon shall. I still have love for everyone who has blessed my life with their presence no matter how short or long, but I have places to go and I am no longer in the business of holding myself back for people who can't get with the program of togetherness, friendship, and/or family. I will never forget you or love you any less, but most important I will no longer try to recapture what we had. It will either be new or nothing at all and i am just fine with that, because GOD always knows whats best.
I leave you with these words: Anything you truly love you should be able to let go, if the love is genuinely reciprocated then it will come back to you .
I haven't written anything in a while, and it hasn't been for lack of trying. I have a box full of drafts trying to put in to words how I felt and what i wanted to say. Yet none of them seemed to express or convey what I wanted. Everything just seemed to come to a halt, and I couldn't find any understanding in too many people or things around me. I even went back and reread some of the older entries, hoping that I would get some clarity or inspiration, and I did. It just wasn't enough to pull out anything in me to write. LOL Instead I was provoked in to deep thought, which in turn brought forth some serious prayers and conversations with the Lord. I asked what it was God was trying to show me. I had to know what it was that I was not getting? I believed that it had to be me, so I went deeper into my mind, deeper in to my heart, and deeper in to myself. This reeked with a semblence of depression but it was neccessary. I remember saying that I wanted something better or just wanted something to change, though it didn't really seem like that was occurring, and I still couldn't figure out why.
I seemed to be stuck surrounded by people and things who had no idea what I was talking about or trying to do, and had no intentions on finding out, because of what they felt was being or been done to them. My thoughts, feelings, and predicament was of no importance to them as long as they were fine and i was still breathing. It didn't matter that I was homeless, it didn't matter that I was alone, it didn't matter that I was hurting physically and emotionally, and as long as I had breath I should just shut up and be happy. I got this attitude so much so that I stopped expecting to have anyone in my corner or for me. But GOD. THANKYOU LORD. I can sit here and talk about GOD with as much love, passion and understanding that I do because I had no other choice but to trust him. It was either trust in him or die, literally, and I would have gone straight to hell. Real talk, not because I was a horrible person, (contrary to popular belief) but because my heart was not right. I was holding on to people and emotions that I thought I had dealt with. I felt worthless and that i wouldn't get any kind of REAL love from anyone other then GOD. All because my family and some so called friends had turned their backs on me. But through strangers and other unlikely sources GOD kept me here, even when I wanted to give up ( and I really did ) he kept me here. THANKYOU GOD. I thought that because some formerly important people from my past had reentered my life that i was being given a second chance to do some things right. Only just today it clicked finally, I don't want them back in my life. Especially if I have to fight or do extra to have them there. I have always been a person to warn and let it be known when things aren't right and are subject to going a certain kind of way. My actions from that point might not have been liked, but shouldn't have been unexpected.
I have been pining over fixing my old life instead of really embracing and embarking on something new. If you are not in my life the way you used to be there is a reason, and there is no need for me to sugar coat that any more. I have reached a new place with in myself. Not only am I done with the hell and the storm I had been in for years, but GOD has opened my eyes to certain people in this world. Nothing needs to be said, they know who they are or soon shall. I still have love for everyone who has blessed my life with their presence no matter how short or long, but I have places to go and I am no longer in the business of holding myself back for people who can't get with the program of togetherness, friendship, and/or family. I will never forget you or love you any less, but most important I will no longer try to recapture what we had. It will either be new or nothing at all and i am just fine with that, because GOD always knows whats best.
I leave you with these words: Anything you truly love you should be able to let go, if the love is genuinely reciprocated then it will come back to you .
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Natures Rise
Good Evening Readers. Skel here,
I know I am a bit late today, not like anyone follows like that, LOL, but hey it's fun to pretend just the same. (SMILE) Anyhoo, today was fit for an episode of somebodies daytime drama. Some heated words, two police officers, legal actions, I mean if i wasn't there I wouldn't have believed it. I was oh so blown. Not in my very own place of supposed peace and rest. I won't go in to detail, that will take away from what I am really trying to say. Though I am sure some of the ideas that are coming to your mind were true LOL. Just no lights flashing LOL. Its good to know GOD is here, ah but I digress. Anyhoo all of this went on before 11 AM. See I told you DAY TIME DRAMA. Although I did end up with a bigger room, and a place I feel I can finally call home. So maybe a dramatic comedy LOL. Nice pleasant ending to the suffering. Tell me GOD ain't real, I say ya LYING LOL. LOL I say that today because there was physical battle that was most definitely brewing and me of all people was evolved. Can you imagine cute innocent lil me about to wreck shop LOL, but it was gonna happen. God does have a way of changing things, and no matter what someone does to you it would behoove you to pray for there salvation instead plotting revenge. When you are at a certain place with him won't feel right until you do.
After that wonderful morning (rolls eyes sarcastically) LOL laughter filled the house and smiles were in every room. I feel now that I can get down to business. I have been preparing and praying and searching and here I am back home in Savannah, GA. Right where I wanted to start empire. LOL Yes Yes Skel has big dreams. This writing is just the tip of the iceberg and it gets better. Just stay tuned...... wait and see.
God plucked me from despair, and has planted me in a blessed and pure place. I can feel the purifying blessings radiating from me calling out to all the wonders and missions that God has prepared for me in this world. Senses are heightened, eyes and ears are open and cleansed, when mouths should remain contently closed. My praying and pressing is finally going to get to meet and embrace the works GOD has been preparing for me while I was on my journey to this point. So I continue to stand firmly planted, growing stronger and stronger everyday. Watching as the first buds of the fruits of my praise and my labor begin to take shape and form into what they are going to be. What great things do my coming days hold? I must say I don't know........ but it is oh so grand watching, feeling, experiencing, and expressing them forge my way. This is the way its supposed to be and this is the way it will remain. Blessed, simply put its in my nature, and from here it only gets better.
I leave you with these words: Always be aware of your progress or the lack there of if that be the case. That way you know where you are in relevance to where you are going.
I know I am a bit late today, not like anyone follows like that, LOL, but hey it's fun to pretend just the same. (SMILE) Anyhoo, today was fit for an episode of somebodies daytime drama. Some heated words, two police officers, legal actions, I mean if i wasn't there I wouldn't have believed it. I was oh so blown. Not in my very own place of supposed peace and rest. I won't go in to detail, that will take away from what I am really trying to say. Though I am sure some of the ideas that are coming to your mind were true LOL. Just no lights flashing LOL. Its good to know GOD is here, ah but I digress. Anyhoo all of this went on before 11 AM. See I told you DAY TIME DRAMA. Although I did end up with a bigger room, and a place I feel I can finally call home. So maybe a dramatic comedy LOL. Nice pleasant ending to the suffering. Tell me GOD ain't real, I say ya LYING LOL. LOL I say that today because there was physical battle that was most definitely brewing and me of all people was evolved. Can you imagine cute innocent lil me about to wreck shop LOL, but it was gonna happen. God does have a way of changing things, and no matter what someone does to you it would behoove you to pray for there salvation instead plotting revenge. When you are at a certain place with him won't feel right until you do.
After that wonderful morning (rolls eyes sarcastically) LOL laughter filled the house and smiles were in every room. I feel now that I can get down to business. I have been preparing and praying and searching and here I am back home in Savannah, GA. Right where I wanted to start empire. LOL Yes Yes Skel has big dreams. This writing is just the tip of the iceberg and it gets better. Just stay tuned...... wait and see.
God plucked me from despair, and has planted me in a blessed and pure place. I can feel the purifying blessings radiating from me calling out to all the wonders and missions that God has prepared for me in this world. Senses are heightened, eyes and ears are open and cleansed, when mouths should remain contently closed. My praying and pressing is finally going to get to meet and embrace the works GOD has been preparing for me while I was on my journey to this point. So I continue to stand firmly planted, growing stronger and stronger everyday. Watching as the first buds of the fruits of my praise and my labor begin to take shape and form into what they are going to be. What great things do my coming days hold? I must say I don't know........ but it is oh so grand watching, feeling, experiencing, and expressing them forge my way. This is the way its supposed to be and this is the way it will remain. Blessed, simply put its in my nature, and from here it only gets better.
I leave you with these words: Always be aware of your progress or the lack there of if that be the case. That way you know where you are in relevance to where you are going.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Turn
GM Readers...........Skel here,
Well well well, lol, today has the potential for change. Not just the normal potential that everyday brings, but a shift in the makings of my life. That emotional plummet shook me to my very core. I have learned through time and experience to rely on GOD for strength and guidance, but the enemy will forever try to change your mind about the Lord. What most Christians can't understand is that God allows these snares and pitfalls to occur to teach us, use us, and evaluate where we stand with him. It was a natural reaction for me to say I refuse to be mad at GOD, it was nothing for me to say that my situation hasn't changed because of something that I have missed or am not doing. Yes it is natural now but I wasn't giving any credence to the meaning and the change. That plummet would have sent me in to a tail spin that would have taken a great deal of time to overcome. The last time I felt that way it turned in to a long and dark depression. And that was not too long ago, so thank you Lord not only for that change but for the ability to see it in myself. I am growing everyday. My mind is set to operate that way. I should not enter in to any day the same as i was the day before. I must say I like knowing that.
I have been having some strange feelings lately, like my self esteem and confidence have taken a hit and depleted a bit. I have faith in myself and GOD but I am realizing that I lack a certain amount of confidence in regards to certain things. I have more appreciation then confidence, which isn't all together a bad thing. I know all I have comes from God, but how do I expand on that? How do I actually get to that next step in my life? I have been waiting, hoping,and praying constantly, in other words training. Preparing myself to live a life with the Lord. My ideas about God have changed and some are out right new. I am somebody and not just because of what I have been through, it's simply who and what I was born to be. I am confident in saying there aren't many people in this world who haven't heard at least once in their lives that God has great things in store for them. Or that they could and can be great. What I don't know is how many people have taken that to heart and tried to find out what that all means. I do know that I want to be one of them.
I have been saying that I am tried of not being listened to and not being heard. I have touched so many peoples lives and have in turned had my life touched and changed simply by listening. So when I figured out that most of the things going were because of a lack of listening I had to take a closer look at who the culprit was. On my end I have noticed that I expect a lot from people around me, too much at some times. Well I can say that for both sides really. That's where the lack of listening and the lack of attention to detail comes in. If some one says that they can or can not do something and it is evident in their actions that this is true, then that's what you should expect and work with. Can't work with what you don't have that just breeds confusion and kaos. Even with that being said my main issue has been not listening to my self. I often wondered how the mere act of being in someones life for a brief period could make such a tremendous difference. One where they advance and grow, yet I feel like I am in the same predicament. The difference is they listened and took things to heart then acted accordingly. Whats the point in knowing you can make a difference if you don't make one in your own life? (Question to self) This can no longer go on. I know what my power is, where my power comes from, and I know that my spirit is strong and free. What I don't know is how to wield this power purposefully. Things just usually tend to happen because I am in the mix, but I want to be able to make things happen at will. I want to be able to make moves. A friend of mine back in the day had a slogan that I still love. He would say his name and that he specialized in results. I vow to be that kinda person from here on out, in my life and in this world. I have faith in and love for who I am, and I am gaining the confidence to do what I was put on this earth to do.
I had felt like I had lost hope these last couple of days and was just tired of pushing myself to believe in a difference. This was a lot for me because for soooooooooo long that was all I had to get me through the days, hours, and sometimes from minute to minute. Yet today I feel hip to Gods test and the enemy's trap. Thank your for my confidence builder LORD and a renewed love and respect for myself and you.
I leave you with these words: Things can change in an instant, so always keep in mind what you have gone through and where you want to do. Get these things deep in your spirit and psyche and you will always be where are supposed to be and go where you are supposed to go. Love Lots SMOOCHES.
Well well well, lol, today has the potential for change. Not just the normal potential that everyday brings, but a shift in the makings of my life. That emotional plummet shook me to my very core. I have learned through time and experience to rely on GOD for strength and guidance, but the enemy will forever try to change your mind about the Lord. What most Christians can't understand is that God allows these snares and pitfalls to occur to teach us, use us, and evaluate where we stand with him. It was a natural reaction for me to say I refuse to be mad at GOD, it was nothing for me to say that my situation hasn't changed because of something that I have missed or am not doing. Yes it is natural now but I wasn't giving any credence to the meaning and the change. That plummet would have sent me in to a tail spin that would have taken a great deal of time to overcome. The last time I felt that way it turned in to a long and dark depression. And that was not too long ago, so thank you Lord not only for that change but for the ability to see it in myself. I am growing everyday. My mind is set to operate that way. I should not enter in to any day the same as i was the day before. I must say I like knowing that.
I have been having some strange feelings lately, like my self esteem and confidence have taken a hit and depleted a bit. I have faith in myself and GOD but I am realizing that I lack a certain amount of confidence in regards to certain things. I have more appreciation then confidence, which isn't all together a bad thing. I know all I have comes from God, but how do I expand on that? How do I actually get to that next step in my life? I have been waiting, hoping,and praying constantly, in other words training. Preparing myself to live a life with the Lord. My ideas about God have changed and some are out right new. I am somebody and not just because of what I have been through, it's simply who and what I was born to be. I am confident in saying there aren't many people in this world who haven't heard at least once in their lives that God has great things in store for them. Or that they could and can be great. What I don't know is how many people have taken that to heart and tried to find out what that all means. I do know that I want to be one of them.
I have been saying that I am tried of not being listened to and not being heard. I have touched so many peoples lives and have in turned had my life touched and changed simply by listening. So when I figured out that most of the things going were because of a lack of listening I had to take a closer look at who the culprit was. On my end I have noticed that I expect a lot from people around me, too much at some times. Well I can say that for both sides really. That's where the lack of listening and the lack of attention to detail comes in. If some one says that they can or can not do something and it is evident in their actions that this is true, then that's what you should expect and work with. Can't work with what you don't have that just breeds confusion and kaos. Even with that being said my main issue has been not listening to my self. I often wondered how the mere act of being in someones life for a brief period could make such a tremendous difference. One where they advance and grow, yet I feel like I am in the same predicament. The difference is they listened and took things to heart then acted accordingly. Whats the point in knowing you can make a difference if you don't make one in your own life? (Question to self) This can no longer go on. I know what my power is, where my power comes from, and I know that my spirit is strong and free. What I don't know is how to wield this power purposefully. Things just usually tend to happen because I am in the mix, but I want to be able to make things happen at will. I want to be able to make moves. A friend of mine back in the day had a slogan that I still love. He would say his name and that he specialized in results. I vow to be that kinda person from here on out, in my life and in this world. I have faith in and love for who I am, and I am gaining the confidence to do what I was put on this earth to do.
I had felt like I had lost hope these last couple of days and was just tired of pushing myself to believe in a difference. This was a lot for me because for soooooooooo long that was all I had to get me through the days, hours, and sometimes from minute to minute. Yet today I feel hip to Gods test and the enemy's trap. Thank your for my confidence builder LORD and a renewed love and respect for myself and you.
I leave you with these words: Things can change in an instant, so always keep in mind what you have gone through and where you want to do. Get these things deep in your spirit and psyche and you will always be where are supposed to be and go where you are supposed to go. Love Lots SMOOCHES.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Concepts For The Next Steps
Hello again what ever readers that I have. It's ya boy Skel.
Well the good news is that my emotional plummet is stabilizing. Not where I would like it to be of course, but it's is no longer losing altitude with each breath. I believe the over all cause of everything that I am going through now is that I am tired. I have mentioned a couple of times that there has been a long standing issue that I really thought would be at a close now. Just lonely and fed up lol. I had too many people in my life who were talkers and not doers. I am a doer, if there is something that I want or want to do I usually find a way to do it. So with that acknowledgment of myself I can't very well let this plummet stop me from reaching my goals now can I?
How many of you readers has had to literally start all over again? When everything you had and had worked for was suddenly gone and just time and space were left fill up your day. I mean in life not just a project. (LOL) I have to admit I never thought it would happen but I had lost my self and control of my life in other people and my situations. I refuse to do it anymore, and MOST DEFINITELY refuse to go back to the way life used to be. So here I stand at this crossroads contemplating. There are some people that I never got out of my system and there as been talks of a reunion, but as time goes on it seems to be more talking then doing. We have already discussed that lol. I want to start this new life and enjoy this new era, and to do that I need to be in control of my faculties and open and trusting of my close surroundings. I finally admitted to myself how disappointed I have been since my birthday and why. I am basically tired of not being listened to, which is why I have taken to venting my thoughts frustrations and idea through writing and on here. How people are in each others lives and can't notice characteristics and issues that stare them in the face is beyond me. I am figuring out that if I was to enter or reenter in to a relationship I have to be sure about myself and that person. What makes you sure you ask? Well I will tell you even if you didn't LOL. Its in the actions. Whether or not a person is doing the acts that you need them to and some things that you just want. The fact that they visibly try to accommodate or work with you can mean a lot and directly effect the longevity of the union. That's across the board from relationships to family, friends and business associates.
Its taken me a while to really put these thoughts and feelings in to play in my life instead of just thinking about how I think things should be. I have had to truly sit and reevaluate things in my life. AGAIN!!!!! I did say that I was starting from scratch. To get to this point I had to do things a certain way, but now that I am here things must change and evolve still. This ability to evolve with out changing who and what I am is one of the most important personality traits I posses. Though just like every other gift or talent there is a possibility for it to be lost or decreased due to the lack of use. So pray with me, pray for me, and hey if you got things going on that you would like to share hit me up at Phoenix_Rizzen@yahoo.com. This way I can comment or address them on the blog without putting any ones name or business on the world wide web. LOL Hit me up, lets talk and lets figure out this thing called life together as members of the human race. Become a maniac and rant with me........lol...........about the good times, the bad times and even those moments when there is no distinction between the two. Life is easier, better, and much more enjoyable when it is shared with good, positive, and motivated people.
I leave you with these words: Life is the greatest gift we will ever get, so cherish it because it can be over in an instant. LOVE YA SMOOCHES
Well the good news is that my emotional plummet is stabilizing. Not where I would like it to be of course, but it's is no longer losing altitude with each breath. I believe the over all cause of everything that I am going through now is that I am tired. I have mentioned a couple of times that there has been a long standing issue that I really thought would be at a close now. Just lonely and fed up lol. I had too many people in my life who were talkers and not doers. I am a doer, if there is something that I want or want to do I usually find a way to do it. So with that acknowledgment of myself I can't very well let this plummet stop me from reaching my goals now can I?
How many of you readers has had to literally start all over again? When everything you had and had worked for was suddenly gone and just time and space were left fill up your day. I mean in life not just a project. (LOL) I have to admit I never thought it would happen but I had lost my self and control of my life in other people and my situations. I refuse to do it anymore, and MOST DEFINITELY refuse to go back to the way life used to be. So here I stand at this crossroads contemplating. There are some people that I never got out of my system and there as been talks of a reunion, but as time goes on it seems to be more talking then doing. We have already discussed that lol. I want to start this new life and enjoy this new era, and to do that I need to be in control of my faculties and open and trusting of my close surroundings. I finally admitted to myself how disappointed I have been since my birthday and why. I am basically tired of not being listened to, which is why I have taken to venting my thoughts frustrations and idea through writing and on here. How people are in each others lives and can't notice characteristics and issues that stare them in the face is beyond me. I am figuring out that if I was to enter or reenter in to a relationship I have to be sure about myself and that person. What makes you sure you ask? Well I will tell you even if you didn't LOL. Its in the actions. Whether or not a person is doing the acts that you need them to and some things that you just want. The fact that they visibly try to accommodate or work with you can mean a lot and directly effect the longevity of the union. That's across the board from relationships to family, friends and business associates.
Its taken me a while to really put these thoughts and feelings in to play in my life instead of just thinking about how I think things should be. I have had to truly sit and reevaluate things in my life. AGAIN!!!!! I did say that I was starting from scratch. To get to this point I had to do things a certain way, but now that I am here things must change and evolve still. This ability to evolve with out changing who and what I am is one of the most important personality traits I posses. Though just like every other gift or talent there is a possibility for it to be lost or decreased due to the lack of use. So pray with me, pray for me, and hey if you got things going on that you would like to share hit me up at Phoenix_Rizzen@yahoo.com. This way I can comment or address them on the blog without putting any ones name or business on the world wide web. LOL Hit me up, lets talk and lets figure out this thing called life together as members of the human race. Become a maniac and rant with me........lol...........about the good times, the bad times and even those moments when there is no distinction between the two. Life is easier, better, and much more enjoyable when it is shared with good, positive, and motivated people.
I leave you with these words: Life is the greatest gift we will ever get, so cherish it because it can be over in an instant. LOVE YA SMOOCHES
Monday, August 24, 2009
Vent Session #1 Emotional Plummet/Spiritual Elevation
Hello Good People........ Skel here,
Well today has been a doozy I say. Can you say emotional plummet? I have just been down today, disappointment is a word that keeps coming up in all my writing outlets. I even wrote in my journal today that I refused to be angry with GOD. I can't deny my emotions but I can't deny my faith either. You would think that would be a recipe for an emotional roller coaster but nooooooooo that was a plummet. LOL I saw it going and did everything with in my power to stay positive and look at the bright side and all of those other good defense mechanisms to ill feelings. Thought I was doing okay and then I woke up this morning. It was like who are you and where did you put the normal me.
Your boy been going through a situation for a long time and frankly I am tired of it. I have asked everyone I know ( and some I really don't ) what I can do about it but always get the same answer. I don't know what to tell you. OOOOOOOOhhhhh helpful. I have developed an intensity that is great when its great but on the flip side it can be a beast to control. I have had to be a rock for a long time, well guess I can't say I had to just sort of step in to that role. Guess it's one of the many things that make up me. Now at thirty I am tired of being the one everyone looks to for answers, or ideas, or suggestions, when all of mine go unanswered and unheard. I am angry and resentful, but to no one in particular. More like a certain kind of person. I like people who do and say what they mean to do. Its not by happenstance, or some devious attempt to get some personal gain, but genuine and real. I am tired of having to adjust, rearrange, or postpone my life to fit in to someone else's schedule. Its not a pleasant way to live.
This brand new and great era was one where with my personal limitations I will still be able to support and maintain an enjoyable life. I am still working and pressing towards that but have to admit that by now I expected to see more advancement then I have. Of course I did what I always do, blame myself and try to figure out what I am lacking and why I have not reached my goal by the designated time. I am here and even though its not how I wanted it to be I do acknowledge being in a new place mentally, I just want to feel like I have advanced in the world as well. May be impatience or it could be that I need to revise my focus. Somethings have to change and they may as well start with me. Don't be vain out there, LOL it causes unnecessary stresses in life. LOL
But even with all of these things going on my faith in GOD remains in tact. Its the faith in myself that is being challenged at this moment. I say I am a soldier and a fighter, but that fight seems to be seeping from somewhere deep inside. Disappointment wants to suck away your expectations of good things in life. I have battled her before and she is a very worthy advisory,but if life hasn't taken me out then disappointment can't either. I am still breathing and I vow to press towards my goals and an over all better life for myself and my children. Thank you GOD for your ever present power and mercy.
I leave you with these words: Knowing that Jesus can fix any problem and believing that he will fix yours are two very different things. Where do you fall?
Well today has been a doozy I say. Can you say emotional plummet? I have just been down today, disappointment is a word that keeps coming up in all my writing outlets. I even wrote in my journal today that I refused to be angry with GOD. I can't deny my emotions but I can't deny my faith either. You would think that would be a recipe for an emotional roller coaster but nooooooooo that was a plummet. LOL I saw it going and did everything with in my power to stay positive and look at the bright side and all of those other good defense mechanisms to ill feelings. Thought I was doing okay and then I woke up this morning. It was like who are you and where did you put the normal me.
Your boy been going through a situation for a long time and frankly I am tired of it. I have asked everyone I know ( and some I really don't ) what I can do about it but always get the same answer. I don't know what to tell you. OOOOOOOOhhhhh helpful. I have developed an intensity that is great when its great but on the flip side it can be a beast to control. I have had to be a rock for a long time, well guess I can't say I had to just sort of step in to that role. Guess it's one of the many things that make up me. Now at thirty I am tired of being the one everyone looks to for answers, or ideas, or suggestions, when all of mine go unanswered and unheard. I am angry and resentful, but to no one in particular. More like a certain kind of person. I like people who do and say what they mean to do. Its not by happenstance, or some devious attempt to get some personal gain, but genuine and real. I am tired of having to adjust, rearrange, or postpone my life to fit in to someone else's schedule. Its not a pleasant way to live.
This brand new and great era was one where with my personal limitations I will still be able to support and maintain an enjoyable life. I am still working and pressing towards that but have to admit that by now I expected to see more advancement then I have. Of course I did what I always do, blame myself and try to figure out what I am lacking and why I have not reached my goal by the designated time. I am here and even though its not how I wanted it to be I do acknowledge being in a new place mentally, I just want to feel like I have advanced in the world as well. May be impatience or it could be that I need to revise my focus. Somethings have to change and they may as well start with me. Don't be vain out there, LOL it causes unnecessary stresses in life. LOL
But even with all of these things going on my faith in GOD remains in tact. Its the faith in myself that is being challenged at this moment. I say I am a soldier and a fighter, but that fight seems to be seeping from somewhere deep inside. Disappointment wants to suck away your expectations of good things in life. I have battled her before and she is a very worthy advisory,but if life hasn't taken me out then disappointment can't either. I am still breathing and I vow to press towards my goals and an over all better life for myself and my children. Thank you GOD for your ever present power and mercy.
I leave you with these words: Knowing that Jesus can fix any problem and believing that he will fix yours are two very different things. Where do you fall?
Sunday, August 23, 2009
From Yesterday to Today
Whats going on Readers, its ya boy Skel here.
I can remember at 27 coming to the realization that life was ticking away and major ideas and goals I had weren't even close to being achieved. Life was as a stand still, relationships were crumbling all around me and I was sinking deeper into the abyss of depression. Then one day everything that I had been almost skillfully balancing just began to topple over. Major shifts occurred in my life that I had no control over. I tried to go with the flow at first, relying heavily on my newly rekindled love affair with the Lord. Operation "Get My Life Together" was conceived, nurtured, and born from this ordeal. As time marched on, as it will inevitably do, a finish line emerged. I had made up my mind to live for Jesus and clean out my life, getting rid of any residual feelings and people that were contrary to my conscience choice to make a change.
I searched for purpose. Purpose for my being alive and being the me that I couldn't help but be if I tried, which I did. I realized that a good amount of the circumstances and and issues from that moment to this was because I didn't know who i wanted to be and didn't like the person I was. That's when the hard part began. I had to look at myself objectively. The harsh realities of my behavior and actions could not be minimized just because they were my own, but had to be confronted and faced. In order to come to any sort of solution, acceptance, and/or closure. It was a long hard and lonely walk. At times the darkness all around seemed to be an extention of me, I didn't think I could, would, or even wanted to make it. Yet here I stand, 30, determined, self aware, and self motivated, and quite soon self sufficient. I don't want to worry about money, I don't want to worry about back stabbing or disguised friendship, and from this day forward I won't. There are people in my life that have their own special place in my heart and will for ever, but my priorities are no longer what anyone else's perception, opinion, or expectations of me. Phase 1 of operation "Get My Life Together" is complete. I have found value, respect, and love for myself. I know what I am capable of bringing to the world, now I am out here embracing and relishing what the Lord has for this world to offer me.
The only relationships I am now pressed about maintaining are that of myself, my children, and GOD. All other components and characters in my life story may come, may go, and some may even become a permanent staple, but this life I live is now and forever MY OWN.
Hope this glimpse in to my life was interesting to say the least but most of all I hope its helpful to someone. Its quite helpful to me even now and I lived through it LOL. I will leave you with these words.
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF KNOWLEGE IS THE KEY....... WIELDING THAT KNOWLEGE IS THE TRUE POWER.
I can remember at 27 coming to the realization that life was ticking away and major ideas and goals I had weren't even close to being achieved. Life was as a stand still, relationships were crumbling all around me and I was sinking deeper into the abyss of depression. Then one day everything that I had been almost skillfully balancing just began to topple over. Major shifts occurred in my life that I had no control over. I tried to go with the flow at first, relying heavily on my newly rekindled love affair with the Lord. Operation "Get My Life Together" was conceived, nurtured, and born from this ordeal. As time marched on, as it will inevitably do, a finish line emerged. I had made up my mind to live for Jesus and clean out my life, getting rid of any residual feelings and people that were contrary to my conscience choice to make a change.
I searched for purpose. Purpose for my being alive and being the me that I couldn't help but be if I tried, which I did. I realized that a good amount of the circumstances and and issues from that moment to this was because I didn't know who i wanted to be and didn't like the person I was. That's when the hard part began. I had to look at myself objectively. The harsh realities of my behavior and actions could not be minimized just because they were my own, but had to be confronted and faced. In order to come to any sort of solution, acceptance, and/or closure. It was a long hard and lonely walk. At times the darkness all around seemed to be an extention of me, I didn't think I could, would, or even wanted to make it. Yet here I stand, 30, determined, self aware, and self motivated, and quite soon self sufficient. I don't want to worry about money, I don't want to worry about back stabbing or disguised friendship, and from this day forward I won't. There are people in my life that have their own special place in my heart and will for ever, but my priorities are no longer what anyone else's perception, opinion, or expectations of me. Phase 1 of operation "Get My Life Together" is complete. I have found value, respect, and love for myself. I know what I am capable of bringing to the world, now I am out here embracing and relishing what the Lord has for this world to offer me.
The only relationships I am now pressed about maintaining are that of myself, my children, and GOD. All other components and characters in my life story may come, may go, and some may even become a permanent staple, but this life I live is now and forever MY OWN.
Hope this glimpse in to my life was interesting to say the least but most of all I hope its helpful to someone. Its quite helpful to me even now and I lived through it LOL. I will leave you with these words.
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF KNOWLEGE IS THE KEY....... WIELDING THAT KNOWLEGE IS THE TRUE POWER.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Day of Reckoning
What is going on WORLD its Skel here,
My day of reckoning has arrived, those who know me know that i have been preparing for this day for a couple of years now. Adding things I believed I needed, and removing things I did not. Even had to give up somethings I thought were mine forever, but that's how it goes. The return was slow but beginning to bud and blossom all around me. I am who I have worked so hard to be, I am a messenger, I am a counselor, I am a Man of GOD, and I am human. Simple yet very complex. I am at a loss for words, which is really rare, LOL. I am just so happy to be alive and to be living, not just existing. I have a plan for my life now, not just an idea of how I want it to be. I know where I am going and I am bound and determined to get there. I put in thirty years to get to know my product, Me, Myself, and I. I am finally declaring it to the world I want to get paid for being myself. Sounds conceited, and pompous, maybe but that depends on how you look at it. You would have to know who I am and what I bring to those around me in my every day. I invite you to do so. I don't exactly know where this blog will lead, if it leads anywhere at all. But every entry is purely and entirely me. Meet me and I will be the same person.
Today I am enjoying the 30th anniversary of my birth, and it is the first time since I was 10 years old that I have enjoyed the significance of it. At ten I was amazed that I was a decade. That word just fascinated me to the hilt, I said it all day, " I am a decade". Yes I was an odd child, but that is not the point of that story at this particular time. LOL It meant something to me, for myself and in myself. Every year since then has been about the people that were around me, or the gifts I did or didn't get, or me feeling like your getting older time to start shaping up. Yet today I am taken back to that birthday 20 years ago today and share that same feeling of accomplishment. Being enjoined by the kid in me that refuses to grow up and the adult in me who has learned to keep his lil behind in line alike. God gave me a gift today that even yesterday I was having some difficulty believing I had or would receive. I am WHOLE. My mind, body, spirit, and soul are under my control and on the same path. A path designated by GOD, and revealed to me when I relinquished that control to my Lord and Savior in exchange for his power, love, mercy and guidence. That power is beginning to shine through me and soon all that I have ever wanted will be a reality. I know this because I don't want what I can't have, but I want everything else that is mine. I know what I want in my life and through GOD all things are possible. I thank him for this day, I can not express that or even how much enough. It means sooooooooooooo much to me that I am here and that I am whole. Stay tuned to the blog and I am sure the whys and hows will come out. I am here to stay and my name and that of my family will live on even after my body has turned to dust. This I know and this I believe. I hope everyone enjoys today, its a day of celebration and everyone should be blessed. LOVE LOTS TOOTLES
My day of reckoning has arrived, those who know me know that i have been preparing for this day for a couple of years now. Adding things I believed I needed, and removing things I did not. Even had to give up somethings I thought were mine forever, but that's how it goes. The return was slow but beginning to bud and blossom all around me. I am who I have worked so hard to be, I am a messenger, I am a counselor, I am a Man of GOD, and I am human. Simple yet very complex. I am at a loss for words, which is really rare, LOL. I am just so happy to be alive and to be living, not just existing. I have a plan for my life now, not just an idea of how I want it to be. I know where I am going and I am bound and determined to get there. I put in thirty years to get to know my product, Me, Myself, and I. I am finally declaring it to the world I want to get paid for being myself. Sounds conceited, and pompous, maybe but that depends on how you look at it. You would have to know who I am and what I bring to those around me in my every day. I invite you to do so. I don't exactly know where this blog will lead, if it leads anywhere at all. But every entry is purely and entirely me. Meet me and I will be the same person.
Today I am enjoying the 30th anniversary of my birth, and it is the first time since I was 10 years old that I have enjoyed the significance of it. At ten I was amazed that I was a decade. That word just fascinated me to the hilt, I said it all day, " I am a decade". Yes I was an odd child, but that is not the point of that story at this particular time. LOL It meant something to me, for myself and in myself. Every year since then has been about the people that were around me, or the gifts I did or didn't get, or me feeling like your getting older time to start shaping up. Yet today I am taken back to that birthday 20 years ago today and share that same feeling of accomplishment. Being enjoined by the kid in me that refuses to grow up and the adult in me who has learned to keep his lil behind in line alike. God gave me a gift today that even yesterday I was having some difficulty believing I had or would receive. I am WHOLE. My mind, body, spirit, and soul are under my control and on the same path. A path designated by GOD, and revealed to me when I relinquished that control to my Lord and Savior in exchange for his power, love, mercy and guidence. That power is beginning to shine through me and soon all that I have ever wanted will be a reality. I know this because I don't want what I can't have, but I want everything else that is mine. I know what I want in my life and through GOD all things are possible. I thank him for this day, I can not express that or even how much enough. It means sooooooooooooo much to me that I am here and that I am whole. Stay tuned to the blog and I am sure the whys and hows will come out. I am here to stay and my name and that of my family will live on even after my body has turned to dust. This I know and this I believe. I hope everyone enjoys today, its a day of celebration and everyone should be blessed. LOVE LOTS TOOTLES
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Phoenix_Rizzen ( THIS RISING )
Able to adapt and evolve without changing who and what I am. With each new birth I get stronger and with each evolution I am purged and prepared for the next, challenge, obstacle, trap, Joy, Pleasure, and Lesson. I've done it my whole existence with out knowing, but this rising has significance. It was my coming of age. No longer a defenseless thing, but a being who has and is acknowledging his mistakes and taking steps, praying, pressing, and growing. This rising has manifested as prophesied it would. I know who I am , I know who I was, and I know what I want to be. All this is presented to the world as an individual capable of great and grand things. With God in my heart and sight I can burn brighter, harder, and hotter and learning to control it with ease. I am a child of God on fire, ready and willing to stand and live in this world on what I believe. I am now ready to soar through the open sky with will of a servant, the heart of a soldier, and the eyes of the Master guiding the way. Living for now,not in the future or in the past, but the blessings of today.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Proceeding With Caution
Whats Good to any and all of my fellow Maniacs. Skel here,
How sweet it is when you achieve and/or obtain something sought and longed for. How will you behave when faced with victory, instead of what your mind has always looked at as defeat. When blessings just fall in your lap while the ones you believed in at the begining become closer to hold and clearer to see. Everything the glitters may not be gold but a light will always shine.
I have been experiencing a lot of growth and seeing the growth in the things around me. I can't say that that growth is me but the light that my Lord has placed in my spirit is very much contagious. I am finally realizing the worth I hold and what I can give to the world, but here is the kicker, the world is too. I am no longer just a handsome face or a body to hold a place, I am a force of nature able to work within the power of the all mighty. I have been to hell and back and have brought back a well known secret that is rarely ever seriously taken to heart. I look around me and all that hold is close to my heart but yet distant, in a way that strangely doesn't bother me at all. I guess this is what it means to stand as your own person and moving on from where you don't want to be.
In knowing who you and having a specific type of drive it is easy to allow things of lesser priority, but valuable just the same, go unattended. This doesn't have to be a bad thing at all, as some may see it to be. If there is love between yourself and a person, place, or thing it never goes away. A smell could bring back emotions and feelings you thought long gone; just make sure that all past emotions have been dealt with or are in the works.
I am ready to walk in to this future I can see forming around me and I am ready to rise. I am finally ready for not just anything but the good things to come in to my life. What are your thoughts about where you are in life?
How sweet it is when you achieve and/or obtain something sought and longed for. How will you behave when faced with victory, instead of what your mind has always looked at as defeat. When blessings just fall in your lap while the ones you believed in at the begining become closer to hold and clearer to see. Everything the glitters may not be gold but a light will always shine.
I have been experiencing a lot of growth and seeing the growth in the things around me. I can't say that that growth is me but the light that my Lord has placed in my spirit is very much contagious. I am finally realizing the worth I hold and what I can give to the world, but here is the kicker, the world is too. I am no longer just a handsome face or a body to hold a place, I am a force of nature able to work within the power of the all mighty. I have been to hell and back and have brought back a well known secret that is rarely ever seriously taken to heart. I look around me and all that hold is close to my heart but yet distant, in a way that strangely doesn't bother me at all. I guess this is what it means to stand as your own person and moving on from where you don't want to be.
In knowing who you and having a specific type of drive it is easy to allow things of lesser priority, but valuable just the same, go unattended. This doesn't have to be a bad thing at all, as some may see it to be. If there is love between yourself and a person, place, or thing it never goes away. A smell could bring back emotions and feelings you thought long gone; just make sure that all past emotions have been dealt with or are in the works.
I am ready to walk in to this future I can see forming around me and I am ready to rise. I am finally ready for not just anything but the good things to come in to my life. What are your thoughts about where you are in life?
Friday, July 31, 2009
Headlights on the Highway of Life
Skel here,
What is faith, and how does one measure it? When do you know that your faith is not misplaced, what are you really believing in and for? I heard before that faith and knowing can be looked at as if your life is a highway, and you are in a car driving. Its easy to see when the day is bright and sunny, but when the evening comes it is time for the headlights. Those headlights will give you vision a few feet in front of you but not much else can really be seen. But if the road is good and signs displayed those headlights should be enough for you to get to your destination. This does seem to be like life in my observation. If I trust and belive that God already has my ending prepared and I simply have to get there, then i should have no problem only being able to see a few feet in front of me at a time. Ofcourse just like on a road this limited vision gets frustrating, but you continue to drive until you get to your destination and be happy and relieved that you have arrived.
I have begun the journey of new life. I have my past to refer to, God to guide me, and the faith that he will never leave me or forsake me. There have been more obsticles then I would have liked but how could I expect anything else. I am trying to make a turn around, I am trying to do better then I have been so, the enemy is angry. When I tell you he has thrown so much at me these last couple of days its not funny. But I am the man I say I am and GOD is most definately the great, gracious, and powerful Master, Lord, and King that HE says he is. Timidness is a fault I had not anticipated, but one that I am coming to grips with. I am new to this, everything works better in your head then in life. Its how an individual brings thoughts, dreams, and goals to life that sets them apart. I am tired of how things have been in my life, and made up in my mind to make a change. A change that has only been possible thus far because of God. He brought me a mighty long way, I am sure as I blog more more will come out, but he has done to much for me to doubt what he can do. So with that being said, I will continue on my way limited view and all. I know my destination is there and that I will reach it; does it really matter how fast??????
What is faith, and how does one measure it? When do you know that your faith is not misplaced, what are you really believing in and for? I heard before that faith and knowing can be looked at as if your life is a highway, and you are in a car driving. Its easy to see when the day is bright and sunny, but when the evening comes it is time for the headlights. Those headlights will give you vision a few feet in front of you but not much else can really be seen. But if the road is good and signs displayed those headlights should be enough for you to get to your destination. This does seem to be like life in my observation. If I trust and belive that God already has my ending prepared and I simply have to get there, then i should have no problem only being able to see a few feet in front of me at a time. Ofcourse just like on a road this limited vision gets frustrating, but you continue to drive until you get to your destination and be happy and relieved that you have arrived.
I have begun the journey of new life. I have my past to refer to, God to guide me, and the faith that he will never leave me or forsake me. There have been more obsticles then I would have liked but how could I expect anything else. I am trying to make a turn around, I am trying to do better then I have been so, the enemy is angry. When I tell you he has thrown so much at me these last couple of days its not funny. But I am the man I say I am and GOD is most definately the great, gracious, and powerful Master, Lord, and King that HE says he is. Timidness is a fault I had not anticipated, but one that I am coming to grips with. I am new to this, everything works better in your head then in life. Its how an individual brings thoughts, dreams, and goals to life that sets them apart. I am tired of how things have been in my life, and made up in my mind to make a change. A change that has only been possible thus far because of God. He brought me a mighty long way, I am sure as I blog more more will come out, but he has done to much for me to doubt what he can do. So with that being said, I will continue on my way limited view and all. I know my destination is there and that I will reach it; does it really matter how fast??????
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Just Words..... Until it Counts
What up Good people, Skel here.
I hope all who read this are having a blessed day, well wish everyone on earth a blessed day. LOL Anyway, today I was thinking that there are certain things in life that really don't make a difference until its time for them to make a difference. LOL, don' t get lost (stay with me and I am goin to bless you ) LOL Things like Love, Faith, Respect, Honor, Loyalty, these are all nice words. Ones I am sure everyone has claimed to have for someone or another in their life. And it's easy for one to do these things when all is good, great, and groovin, but when the chips are down and these things are tested, how well do you honestly think you would hold up. With God, and family members for that matter, one can easily act upon those things when everything seems good. I want to know people who have endured and come out victoriously of times where they had to believe in something they could not see, but dared to declare to be true.
I have said that I am ushering in a new era of my life, and I intend to adjust to it successfully and productively. I have accepted that only I can change my life, that I am the only one who is holding myself back, and why I couldn't do those things before now. It is amazing that, here now, and at this very moment I am proving to myself that when it counts I do believe, I do love, I do trust, I do know what it is I am trying to accomplish. And most of all I know where my power lies and where my fire, my passion, and my drive get their never failing fuel. I can do all things through Christ. It's one thing to say it, but am I willing to stand the test, how do I feel in my heart of hearts this will progress? I have asked myself so many times in the last two years, "Lord is you that I am following or am I just making things up as I go?" I now know that I believe and trust in what I believe, and I have enough faith be open to the idea that I just might not know everything under the sun. LOL
I am ready to learn again. I want to explore, I want to go, and I want to see. Where you ask, any where the Lord sends me. I have lived from memories of a better time for far too long. It is time to embrace the now and this rejuvenated person I have become; and walk through every door that has and will become available to me by Gods good graces.
This is Skeleton Keyee signing out saying STAY TUNED its gonna get interesting.
I hope all who read this are having a blessed day, well wish everyone on earth a blessed day. LOL Anyway, today I was thinking that there are certain things in life that really don't make a difference until its time for them to make a difference. LOL, don' t get lost (stay with me and I am goin to bless you ) LOL Things like Love, Faith, Respect, Honor, Loyalty, these are all nice words. Ones I am sure everyone has claimed to have for someone or another in their life. And it's easy for one to do these things when all is good, great, and groovin, but when the chips are down and these things are tested, how well do you honestly think you would hold up. With God, and family members for that matter, one can easily act upon those things when everything seems good. I want to know people who have endured and come out victoriously of times where they had to believe in something they could not see, but dared to declare to be true.
I have said that I am ushering in a new era of my life, and I intend to adjust to it successfully and productively. I have accepted that only I can change my life, that I am the only one who is holding myself back, and why I couldn't do those things before now. It is amazing that, here now, and at this very moment I am proving to myself that when it counts I do believe, I do love, I do trust, I do know what it is I am trying to accomplish. And most of all I know where my power lies and where my fire, my passion, and my drive get their never failing fuel. I can do all things through Christ. It's one thing to say it, but am I willing to stand the test, how do I feel in my heart of hearts this will progress? I have asked myself so many times in the last two years, "Lord is you that I am following or am I just making things up as I go?" I now know that I believe and trust in what I believe, and I have enough faith be open to the idea that I just might not know everything under the sun. LOL
I am ready to learn again. I want to explore, I want to go, and I want to see. Where you ask, any where the Lord sends me. I have lived from memories of a better time for far too long. It is time to embrace the now and this rejuvenated person I have become; and walk through every door that has and will become available to me by Gods good graces.
This is Skeleton Keyee signing out saying STAY TUNED its gonna get interesting.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Pierce of Realization
Good Day Skel here,
Have you ever wanted and waited for somthing so long that you never really see how close you are to it until its right in your face. By that time all kinds of emotions swirl about LOL. I have been goin through a storm in my life for a long time, I wandered in the wilderness and all those good analogies and things. I have claimed to be out for so long it's just second nature to say now, but I always believed. So now that things are going in the direction that I want them to, not the way i want them to but the direction, I am over come by emotions. As hard and rough as that part of my life was, it was my life but now its over. A big part of me, 30 years of my life are over. I am excited about it, and even that is crazy to me. I am just ready to embrace this new lease on life and see where it takes me.
I will be in Savannah, GA next week. With a plan, a purpose, and a goal. I will be around the people I call family again. Coming from where i was in Richmond, VA where I had some close aquaintences but few friends, true friends. I am a real person, able to look at myself as a whole and not in pieces. I have had a nomadic life long enough to know that I am me no matter where i go or who i am around. I am always goin to be me, and for the first time that means a lot to me. I no longer need the people i care for to make me feel like somebody. I was somebody before you came in to my life and will be somebody when and if you leave. Love you just the same and I am quite sure we had some good times. Thats the way I look at the world LOL, and i like it that way. Just funny to realize that you really believe the things you say. I say all the time, and don't plan on stopping, that I love being me. LOL And I honestly and truely do. Not being conceited or pompous about it. Simply put, love the person that I have grown to be and am looking forward to the person I am to become.
This is Skel saying love life, love each other, love yourself and most importantly love the LORD
THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERY DAY I GET YOU NEVER FAIL TO REVEAL YOUR LOVE AND YOURSELF
Have you ever wanted and waited for somthing so long that you never really see how close you are to it until its right in your face. By that time all kinds of emotions swirl about LOL. I have been goin through a storm in my life for a long time, I wandered in the wilderness and all those good analogies and things. I have claimed to be out for so long it's just second nature to say now, but I always believed. So now that things are going in the direction that I want them to, not the way i want them to but the direction, I am over come by emotions. As hard and rough as that part of my life was, it was my life but now its over. A big part of me, 30 years of my life are over. I am excited about it, and even that is crazy to me. I am just ready to embrace this new lease on life and see where it takes me.
I will be in Savannah, GA next week. With a plan, a purpose, and a goal. I will be around the people I call family again. Coming from where i was in Richmond, VA where I had some close aquaintences but few friends, true friends. I am a real person, able to look at myself as a whole and not in pieces. I have had a nomadic life long enough to know that I am me no matter where i go or who i am around. I am always goin to be me, and for the first time that means a lot to me. I no longer need the people i care for to make me feel like somebody. I was somebody before you came in to my life and will be somebody when and if you leave. Love you just the same and I am quite sure we had some good times. Thats the way I look at the world LOL, and i like it that way. Just funny to realize that you really believe the things you say. I say all the time, and don't plan on stopping, that I love being me. LOL And I honestly and truely do. Not being conceited or pompous about it. Simply put, love the person that I have grown to be and am looking forward to the person I am to become.
This is Skel saying love life, love each other, love yourself and most importantly love the LORD
THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERY DAY I GET YOU NEVER FAIL TO REVEAL YOUR LOVE AND YOURSELF
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Hey it's me, SKELETON KEYEE
Whats Good Skeleton Keyee here, SKEL for short. Just a cool kat trying to find his way in this world with out compromising what I believe. Which is that I can live a happy, lucrative, and productive life by just being the person I am. I am looking forward to showing the world that its full of beautiful people for those willing to see. Beauty is relative to whom ever is beholding what ever, and for that its the mind. I love to encounter a beautiful and functioning mind gets me goin in ways I can't say just yet; but is a wonderous, wild, and fullfilling adventure when beautiful and great minds come together in peace and with purpose. Join me and share your mind.
Daybreak After the Breakthrough
July 25, 2009
When one makes up in their mind that changes must be made and makes efforts and steps to do so, it is always goin to be interesting. That story is told often LOL the coming out story, but usually only up until that point. What happens when you get what you have worked so hard for?
Life goes on it doesn't end and another storm, test, and trial is on the horizon. One thing I know to be true, once you make it through a life threatening and altering situation you will never look at life or anything in it the same again. I am still here, I can't say how much that really means to me. Don't know how many people have actually been to a place where they honestly and truthfully didn't think they would make it to see the next day, no not a figure of speach really didn't think they would see another day, life changing. I want to live now. Waking up each day has a whole new meaning. I have desires and goals now, and I can readily identify them. I am determined to live every day I get to the fullest and push every limit to the max. Been a boundery pusher my entire life and now with this new lease on life it will only increase.
Thats the beauty of it all. I wasn't a bad person in the first place, just a little missguided and didn't pay enough attention to self. It was always about the good of the whole but more and more I lost what ever voice I had. NO MORE. I am here and I will be heard. I am goin to be a success in my own eyes as well as many others who get the priviledge to hear and see of me. And the whole time GOD, Jesus, Master, and King will be the name on my lips. My smile and enthusiasum for this life is genuine and the love in my heart is pure and strong. From here on out my life will take a wonderful and dramatic upswing and I am gonna keep on going. Live life, love yourself, love each other and most important love the LORD.
When one makes up in their mind that changes must be made and makes efforts and steps to do so, it is always goin to be interesting. That story is told often LOL the coming out story, but usually only up until that point. What happens when you get what you have worked so hard for?
Life goes on it doesn't end and another storm, test, and trial is on the horizon. One thing I know to be true, once you make it through a life threatening and altering situation you will never look at life or anything in it the same again. I am still here, I can't say how much that really means to me. Don't know how many people have actually been to a place where they honestly and truthfully didn't think they would make it to see the next day, no not a figure of speach really didn't think they would see another day, life changing. I want to live now. Waking up each day has a whole new meaning. I have desires and goals now, and I can readily identify them. I am determined to live every day I get to the fullest and push every limit to the max. Been a boundery pusher my entire life and now with this new lease on life it will only increase.
Thats the beauty of it all. I wasn't a bad person in the first place, just a little missguided and didn't pay enough attention to self. It was always about the good of the whole but more and more I lost what ever voice I had. NO MORE. I am here and I will be heard. I am goin to be a success in my own eyes as well as many others who get the priviledge to hear and see of me. And the whole time GOD, Jesus, Master, and King will be the name on my lips. My smile and enthusiasum for this life is genuine and the love in my heart is pure and strong. From here on out my life will take a wonderful and dramatic upswing and I am gonna keep on going. Live life, love yourself, love each other and most important love the LORD.
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